Day Two - Align your Beliefs - Part 1

Day Two - Align your Beliefs

I have had a long term belief that I have adopted and is responsible for a lot of the vision I currently have for my future, and I must tell you, I am very excited about it. The belief I adopted was this:- Do not wish to be normal ... dare to be extraordinary.

I truly believe that all stutterers have a hidden gift just waiting to be unleashed. You know what it is like to not have the benefits of verbal communication, where the majority of people have always had it and think nothing of it, and in doing so only ever use it to a fraction of its true potential. A person who stutters is unlikely to ever fall into that trap. If there was a magic pill and suddenly a persons stutter was gone forever, and they suddenly never had to think or worry about speaking again, I have a feeling they would literally be shouting from the roof tops. They would never take that new ability for granted and would spend the rest of their lives using it to its fullest potential.

I also have the unshakable belief that fluency is not only possible, but a lot easier than you may think. I believe a person can be free of their infliction in a matter of days at worst, possibly just a few moments. I believe that to obtain everlasting fluency, a person does not require a magic pill. They just require a realisation. A change in the meaning they attach to themselves and the world they live in, and that does happen in a moment and happens to people all around the world each and every day.

I, in a small way, have experienced this myself a few years ago. I will tell you a story, but please realise that I tell it, not to say it is the answer, or that I wish this upon anyone else, but so you understand that change can happen in an instant. A persons perspective and reality is both subjective and fluid in nature. Almost 10 years ago my wife decided we should separate. This was a devastating blow to me and appeared completely out of the blue. As you can imagine, I was in absolute shock. I had in no way seen it coming, and within 24 hours I moved out of our family home. It was one of the hardest times of my life. Apart from my job, I had no familiar place to go, all my visions of the future were gone, and I felt completely lost. Within a few days I had somehow managed to assemble some sort of new daily routine but I was still very lost inside. About two weeks later, my friend and boss said to me, have you noticed that you do not stutter anymore? At first I couldn't believe it, but then I realised it was true. I had not stuttered since the separation. I had lost every ounce of fear I had in my body. In my mind, the worst had already happened and I had no fear for the future, no fear of talking to people because humiliation was pale in comparison to what had actually happened. I even went parachuting to try and revive a sense of fear but even that didn't work. I lost the fear, and in doing so, lost the stutter, and it happened in a moment.

To finish the story, as time went by, my old patterns returned and so did my stutter. My wife and I got back together 8 months later after we both gained a lot of personal growth. In hide sight, it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. I learnt a great deal about myself and was the first time I truly met myself. I had always spent my time and energy doing things to please others, and it wasn't till the was no 'others' that I really thought about what it was that I wanted, what I was about.

So, that's my discussion for today. I hope you got something useful out of today. I know I did. I look forward to catching up again soon.

Warrick Sullivan
http://www.fluencyquest.com

Day One - Decide

Hi. My name is Warrick Sullivan and I am on a quest for a life of fluency, free from stuttering and I will document step by step how I do it so others can learn from my successes and my failures. So here it goes.

Day One - Decide.
I know, it sounds like a no brainer, but believe it or not, there are reasons why a person may not be willing to give up their stutter. A persons stutter does have a positive intent. A person does not stutter because they are flawed, or defective in any way. In 99% of cases, it is a learned behaviour, most commonly from childhood and was learned to fill some sort of emotional need in that person. Not everyone reasons are the same, so this needs to be done on an individual basis, but rest assured, there is (or was) a need that is being served from a stutter. In a lot of cases, the need was developed as a child, and as the person grows up, they no longer have the need any more, but the behaviour is ingrained so remains in the adult. We need to establish any secondary gains from stuttering and replace them with a more resourceful way of satisfying the need before a person can truly free themselves of a stutter.

The question you need to ask yourself is, what do I get out of stuttering?

Common responses are:

• To protect me from being hurt,
• To get attention and make people notice me,
• To give me a sense of control. I can not control the outside world but I can control my speech, so I will block.
• To get back at my parents, teachers, therapists or peers.

For me personally, my stutter protects me from saying stupid things. It protects me from putting myself out there, and getting ridiculed and made a fool of. It has saved me on so many occasions throughout the years.

Also, about five years ago, I discovered a 5 day course in Scotland which boasted a cure for stuttering. At the time, I was living in New Zealand, so Scotland was pretty much exactly on the opposite side of the globe. Once all of the plans were made, all the flights were booked and everything was official, I started to lose a lot of sleep about the strangest thing. Without realising it, I started to worry that this course might actually do everything it claims to do. In my mind, there was a very real possibility that in less than a week, I could be totally fluent. And it totally freaked me out. Why was I scared of fluency??? What was holding me back???

Thinking about it now, I believe I was frightened by the responsibility of a clean slate. Suddenly, any lack of success in my life would be squarely placed on my shoulders. I would suddenly be able to gain success, so instantly gained the responsibility and expectation to accomplish it. I would have on-one or nothing left to blame. I would suddenly be solely accountable for my own destiny. It scared me... a lot.

The thing to realise is that all these internal forces will be working against you if they are not addressed up front, and you will find yourself not fully involved, or even subconsciously sabotaging your efforts towards fluency. Not intellectually, but subconsciously.

To correct this, you need to align your beliefs so that every fibre of your body is working TOWARDS your outcome. In this case, fluency.

Talk soon.
Warrick Sullivan
http://www.fluencyquest.com